October the 9ththere are times you'd sell your soulfor even an ounce of controlwake up to find your girlfriend of six yearslying still, blood trickling out her earsshe's not breathing, either call 911 on the phonemouth to mouth, push down on breastbonefire department, ambulance, police show up in a seconddon't know what to do, in a blind panicadrenaline highwire, wet with sweatpace in the living room, smoking cigarettesthe portable defibrillator powers up wheeeiiilllyou can already hear her complaining about next month's electricity billsoothe yourself, it's gonna be alright don't be so tensethen they come out and ask if you'd like to ride with them in the ambulancehalfway to the hospital, the paramedics have good news to tell'we got her heart started again and it's beating by itself'wheel her in to the emergency room upon arrivalwhile all you can do is catch an eyefull and it's about her survivalshepard you off to a gloomy room, tormented & grimyou know
Just a Poemthis is not a poem about sexthis is not a poem about violencethis is not a poem about national defensethis is just a poemthis is not a poem about hatredthis is not a poem about the lies you're being fedthis is not a poem about an adjustable bedthis is just a poemthis is not a poem about teens strapped with pistolsthis is not a poem about intercontinental ballistic missilesthis is not a poem about hygiene issuesthis is just a poemthis is not a poem about living on the streetthis is not a poem about digging through dumpsters for something to eatthis is not a poem about getting a weavethis is just a poemthis is not a poem about kids being left home alonethis is not a poem about cancer from cell phonesthis is not a poem about carpal tunnel syndromethis is just a poemthis is not a poem about human naturethis is not a poem about why some people hate yathis is not a poem about toilet paperthis is just a poemthis is not a poem about our countrythis is not a poem dissin
Am IAm I really a bad person?Do I only hurt people?Do I really not care for anything?Liar. Hypocrite. Whore.Really?Do I do everything wrong?Every damn little thing I ever try...Just to be taken away.To be proven wrong, to be looked down upon.To be made fun of, to not say anything.To be quite, to hold it in.Am I really a bad person?
Losing HeavenWhat happened to the heaven in which I used to believeWhat happened to..that happiness...I prayed never to leaveIt seem that since you stopped smiling my way..all I can ever perceiveIs grief....it deceives...And I just get no reliefAnd it feels like this happiness is going on a steady declineInstead of heaven I'm going to hell...since you're no longer mineAnd your smile that would shine...can no longer be my lifelineEven if it's divine..and brings chills down my spine..If it belongs to someone else..it wont make me feel fineI lost my opportunity..now your smile belongs to someone elseAnd every time I see you with him I keep getting angry at myselfI destroyed my heaven...and I'm now stuck in one of hell's ..many cellsAll because every time I tried to say I loved you...I always stumbled on the "L"s
In the eyes of GodI'm staring at my phone...just waiting for your callThinking of how you would make this heart fly...as you slowly made it fallBut right now I don't even think that it can crawlBecause you were taken from me,....and this heart can't beat if you're not here at allBut this relationship..was forbidden from the startAnd I knew that I would fall apart...if I let you in my heartNow I'm drowning in the dark...as slowly you departAnd Maybe we were sinning..but it was as beautiful as artWell I don't care if what we had is considered sinLove becomes adrenaline and makes our whole head spinLaughs and stupid grins...with goosebumps on the skinHow can it be evil..if happiness is bursting from withinWell maybe it is wrong..looking through the eyes of GodYou're now another perfect lady....who now believes she's FlawedDon't silently agree....Don't just give up and NodYou can go now and pretend to live happily ..but we'll both know you're keeping a facade
ForeverAll the things you said to meIn the end weren't meant to beAll they say is to let you goBut my love won't let me. So...I'll fight for us to be togetherCause I want to feel foreverWhat will it take to make you seeAll the things you are to meThe tears I shed blur my sightBut I'll overcome it with my mightI'll make you see what fates done rightAs you watch the stars shine tonightSo I'll fight for us to be togetherCause I want you foreverI'll do whatever it takes to make you seeAll of the things you are to me
I PromiseI promiseIt's not the rifle you holdOr the fatigues proudly wornIt's not the look in your eyesOr the hard set of your faceI promiseI would kiss your bloodied handsAnd brush the sand from your hairI'd put my face into your neckAnd breathe your gunmetal smellI promise
Becoming MeThrough the eyes of someone elseI can imagine what they'd seeSomeone used up and brokenBut they do not know meI carry these scars with prideBecause I lived through it allAnd though it hurts to go onI will stand up straight and tallForgetting those days that passedWhere I wished them all awayNot letting them hear my voiceEven when I have so much to sayNo, I'm not broken or used upI'm simply cautious about what I doI will never be able to be beaten downI won't let that satisfaction come to youThrough the eyes of someone elseI can imagine what they seeSomeone who fought for what they haveThe person that became me
She.She m e l t s into the light of dayand s h i f t s into the (raven)wings of night--Breathing,into the blue of the oceanand whispering to the creatures of the forsaken (lands).She is fractured by volcanoes,shaken by earthquakes,ridden bystorms.She is not mortal,(but) she one day must die.She can be killed by smoke,yet she burns on, like an eternal forest firethat lingers o n (and on and on and.... (She is ignored,even when she wailsin pain,sickness and d eath de ath dea th deat h death.)She will never stop turning for me;you. She is not human. (But we kill her.) We are. (But sometimes -I don't see why.)
InsomniaLoud pets inside,Tittering birds outside,It's three in the morning damn it!Too tired to get up,Too exhausted to sleep.Ticking clock,Driving me insane,I don't even have a clock...Dots far above,Too dark to see,I imagine wondrous things.Turn again and again,Nothing helps.Fingers brush the chain,Lips tug up in an unconscious smile,Hand curls tight around the coversPulse strong,Like the beating of your heart.Too tired to get up,Too exhausted to sleep.But maybe that's okay.Because if you step backLook properly,And you're really,really luckySometimes reality is better than dreams.
Seeking ComfortComfort was what I soughtWhen to you I reached out my handBut to my heart you broughtMore pain than I could standI locked myself awayLicking my wounds cleanHow I wish I could roll overAnd find that this was all a dreamThey broke my barriers downExposing my raw formOn the ground I'd layWishing I were never bornI ran away from themSearching for another friendThen I found you standing thereAnd all my cares I'd lendYou held me when I criedOr rather you just triedI loved your companyAnd hoped love had found meOne day you disappearedEmbodying all I had fearedAs I saw my death nearI felt my eyes begin to tearI searched for you all nightLooking for that inner lightWhich would always shine so brightBut you were not in sight
ApocalypseBorn from shadowNurtured in hellBirthed at midnightThe little girl rises, smilingEyes, red as rubyShe walks in the snowDressed in jet blackA dark mist surrounding herShe can feel she is getting closeHumanity's rejectionIs palpable from distanceShe does not need an armyFor her weapon liesIn her misanthropyCorruption is her mottoShe will honor itFor as long as she existsForeverImmortal, but fallenThis angel has-beenSearches for a wayTo wreak vengeanceIndeed, she is determinedBut soon, her quest will be laid to restFor Humanity possessesWhat she seeks mostHope in a better futureFaith in themselvesAnd Love for the otherHumanity's long-forgotten weaponWill Humanity ever remember?Will we ever go back to our roots?The little dark girl is getting closerNo one will be savedShe is a threat to all of usShe is one of usShe will live up to her nameShe is
Daddy's girlWhen I was a little girl I loved my Daddy more than the entire world.However it was my Mother who was the constant in my life. She was the one who picked me up when I fell and kissed the pain away. The one who read me bedtime stories and sang to me when I had nightmares. The one who walked me home after school to my dance rehearsals and spent night upon night sowing together outfits for my shows, in which she came to every single one, clapping louder and with more passion than any other in the room. Never was a child loved so much by a parent and I knew this fact. I took it for granted.On the other hand my Daddy was a rare existence. He was always busy with work, shut away in his office at weekends. While my Mother threw lavish parties for my birthday with homemade banquets, my Daddy's appearance was a treat that made my day complete. I idolised him, and each time I made him smile I felt as if I had achieved a very great thing indeed, because he did not throw around his affection lik